Here Comes The Bride

I love beautiful things. This ranges from home decor to cars. Recently, I have been watching too many wedding programme's (which worries my boyfriend a bit), and today I spent at least an hour looking up different wedding dresses.


I have always loved wedding dresses. As a little girl, I remember designing the dress I was supposedly going to walk down the aisle in. Cute, I know...
But recently, I have been wondering if I will ever walk down the aisle. You see, as a high school student, you kinda plan out life. For e.g., my plan went like this:
Get a job, and live, in Cape Town. Work as a teacher before going on to study post-grad Psychology, then become a world changing Neuro-Psychologist. Find a guy and be married by 28....


I find it funny how I was convinced that by 28 I would be married. By that age I would have been with this amazing guy long enough to be married to him. It's funny how reality hits when you leave high school. =D And the great thing about life is that, you just don't know.


Anyhoo, moving along, the point of this post was just to share some of the beautiful dresses I found. If I ever get to walk down the aisle (and please Lord may I be blessed enough to), these are possible dresses I would love to be wearing:

When it's just a crying month...

Some months I get angry....
Some months I get irritable...
Some months I get sensitive...
This month? This month is a crying month....

I recently went for a big operation on my knee and am now in a brace and using a crutch. I have never felt so useless and I can hardly walk. I am completely reliant on this huge brace.

And all for what?

To play netball again. To go running again.

However the damage to my knee over the past 2 years has been quite extensive, and I am never allowed to play netball again. Or do road running.... or any of the other sports or activities I used to do. And this makes me feel like I wasted my time and should have just gone without surgery. I was coping fine without it. And now I am constantly in pain, walking uncomfortably and doing physio for the next 9 months.

So yes, this month, is a crying month...

The most beautiful sport in the world:

Lets see your Jazz hands!

Last night I watched: Burlesque, and I fell in love. The bright lights, feathers, dancing, fishnets, high heels, and lipstick appeal to me more than you could ever think. I always had a secret dream to be a performer. To dance, sing, and perform with bright lights and an audience begging you for more gives me goosebumps!


"Its a life, its a style, its a passion, its Burlesque"

"Oh Life...."

The last few days have been bumpy for me.... Maybe they weren't meant to be, but emotionally, I was rocked around like a drunkard on a ship!

You see, being in love is amazing! It's just as soppy and romantic and lovey as novels describe. But what they leave out is the fact that you are two people, two individuals, who have different goals, different idea's, insecurities, bad moods, experience jealousy, fight, cry, be sad...and then when you think it's done, and your worst fears may become reality..... you guys fix it. Things get better. You realise that together, you can do it. That you're there to pick each other up and make them laugh when the world has shat on their heads....

My goal is to be this for my boyfriend. He has been my inspiration, my fan, my tissue, my shoulder, my ear, my happiness, my laughter. And he has taught me so much - about who I am, and about life. Don't get me wrong, he gives me grief too sometimes but a relationship has to go through a rough patch, just so you can enjoy the greenery more.

I don't know what the future holds, but for now, I am happy as hell knowing he loves me as much as I love him.
"You're just 2 people walking together, dancing".... I wanna dance with him

Standing Out In A Crowd...

So I have finally returned home after an incredible week up in Johannesburg. I had such an amazing time and my New Years Eve party was pretty good too. 


Currently I have had a lot of thoughts running through my head...particularly the thoughts about my physical appearance. Last night, I went through old photo's of old friends from high school and I got really down. I sometimes sit and wonder why God made me the way He did. Why did I have to be so different from other girls? Why couldn't I be shorter, and smaller, and able to tan, like all the other girls? It has been 20 years of being different, and comments behind my back like: "Whoa she's so tall!" and "Sjoe she's quite a big girl hey?"


I get really angry when I see other girls wearing short skirts and high heels, and I know that I was not designed to wear such.... 
Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm ugly..... I just think I'm different. And I'm tired of being different....I don't wanna stand out anymore. I wanna be able to wear high heels, short skirts (but not too short obviously), have small sexy legs, and nicely proportioned boobs....


Why was I made to stand out so much?